Porn is love you can see.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
