I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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