i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
