...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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