ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
