I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
