Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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