I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Everyone says I win the strip club
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
