We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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