I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize
