Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
