all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
