You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I AM VODKA MAN
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
