Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't turn off my feet"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
