Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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