i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
