dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
