We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im holly from the hills drunk
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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