yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
