her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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