I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
