did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
