Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so let's talk penis.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
