why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
