I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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