Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
