singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you win again, gameday.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
