I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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