I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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