Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
