Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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