Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
