It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
