her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
