he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish you could order shots online.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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