question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
