google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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