That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
