Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
