Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
