Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
