mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had to cum in my sink.
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