I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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