Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Do vagina's smell?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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