come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
