Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
