so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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