I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You made out with two different species that night
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
