I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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