I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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