I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
